One of my friends was retiring. He held an executive position within the Presbyterian Church. At a reception I asked him what he would be doing once he retired and he told me that he wanted to spend more time as a spiritual director. I asked him what that meant and he explained what spiritual direction was, but the room was noisy and we were forced to cut the conversation short to get to choir practice. I didn’t quite grasp the meaning and quite frankly, forgot about it.

That weekend Robert and I took a trip to Wisconsin to visit friends of ours.  I showed them my website and what I was doing and Dave said, “You need a spiritual director.” He had one and explained to me that pastors within the Presbyterian Church are required to have a spiritual director. He explained how spiritual directors are there to be a companion with you on your spiritual journey. They attend to you with the presence and call of God in your life. A spiritual director is not a therapist, but rather a listener who can be helpful as you open yourself up more fully to the action of God’s Spirit. In fact, Dave and his wife Elaine were planning to become spiritual directors.

When we returned home we attended a dinner at our church. During the conversation at our table our pastor was talking about what his spiritual director had recommended. His wife Jani was sitting at the table with us and written on her hand were the words – Letting Go. I asked her why she had those words on her hand, and she replied that her spiritual director had expressed that she needed to let go.

That night I took out one of the books that my friend Dave loaned me from our trip. The author wrote how her whole life changed after she began to see a spiritual director. I burst out laughing, which wasn’t good because I was reading in bed and Robert was asleep. I said, “Okay God, I get it already! I’ll get a spiritual director!”

I did get a spiritual director and I have been seeing one for almost two years. Has it changed my life? Well, yes! The process works by going once a month and meeting with your spiritual director to talk about anything regarding your spiritual journey. Sometimes I come with issues that I am trying to deal with and sometimes I share how God has been working in my life. My spiritual director will help me to interpret my thoughts, questions and struggles. It’s been a wonderful experience to have a spiritual companion that is an observer and a source of support.

If you are seeking a closer walk with God, need discernment, having a crisis in faith, or experiencing a yearning that you can’t understand, spiritual direction could be right for you.

What to Expect from Spiritual Direction

You will most likely go to an office or church facility. The amount of time is usually 50 minutes. You’ll start your spiritual direction getting centered through silence and prayer. Then you will share what is on your heart that day. Sometimes it’s helpful to come with a list of items or an item to cover. As your relationship grows over time, your spiritual director may bring in resources such as prayers, articles, books that relate to items you’ve discussed. It truly is a companionship. You will find more peace, guidance and clarity on your spiritual journey. But you have a role too. That includes spending time in personal prayer, reflecting and meeting once a month.

Is there a cost to Spiritual Direction?

The cost of spiritual direction is in the form of a donation which is usually between $35-$55 per session. Most places are flexible depending on the need of the person and fees can be reduced if necessary.

How do you find a Spiritual Director?

You can find a spiritual director through a website called Spiritual Directors International. http://sdiworld.org. You can also ask your pastor if they know of any spiritual directors. Also, if you live in a rural area and have access through the Internet, some spiritual directors will even do one on one direction through Skype.

What to look for in a Spiritual Director

It’s important that you can relate to your spiritual director. There are some places with multiple spiritual directors. You can meet with a person and see if you feel comfortable with them. If not, they will have you meet with someone else. The goal of spiritual direction is to find someone that will be a companion with you on your spiritual journey. Also look for a director who is involved with supervision. That means that they go to a supervisory group of their peers for their own spiritual direction and to be accountable.

As I mentioned, I have been seeing a spiritual director for almost two years. My director has helped me to understand how God sees me and has helped me to interpret thoughts, dreams and yearnings. I’ve gained a greater sense of peace and purpose. My monthly sessions have helped me to grow and to keep focused on the spiritual path that I have chosen. I’m so glad that spiritual direction actually found me!

Luke Chapter 12, verses 27 and 28 – “Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet, I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow, is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!”

God has provided for me and my family in so many ways this past year. Yet, in the moment, I constantly worried. How would we pay our bills? Where would the next job come from? How would we make ends meet? God provided month in and month out. My worry caused me only unneeded, self-induced suffering.

So, what is my verse for the New Year? That’s easy. Isaiah 40:31 – “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, and they will walk and not be faint.”

In this New Year I plan to soar and certainly vow not to worry. I am embracing each moment and living in the now. Here’s a prior post I wrote called: Dwell on the Past – Worry about the Future – Miss Out on Living.

At a recent concert I attended, the primary artist told stories between songs. He said, “What we teach about is what we need to learn the most.”  That is SO true! The post I wrote about worry was a few years ago which means I am still learning!

So, what verse summed up the prior year for you and what verse will you hold in your heart for the New Year?

There is no doubt that God speaks to us through messengers, or, as I like to call them, earthly angels. One angel spoke to me last Saturday. She was disguised as a Salvation Army volunteer.

For I don’t know how many years, I have taken my mother to doctor appointments, to run errands and to do her grocery shopping. We were standing outside one of her local grocery stores where a Salvation Army volunteer was stationed, ringing her bell, overseeing the signature red kettle, and collecting donations.

It was a particularly trying year. My mother had broken her femur bone a year ago in the month of December. At the age of 91, it was very probable that she wouldn’t make it through the surgery or have any quality of life afterwards. But as she always does, she proved me and all of the doctors wrong. While she doesn’t walk a mile to her local store anymore, she has been amazing in her recovery and determination to get on with life.

This month also marked the anniversary of the second year that I started my web consulting business and as the primary breadwinner for my family since my husband lost his job two years ago.  With taking care of my mother, growing a business, and volunteering through my church, there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in a the day or enough of me to provide to the people that need me.

Mom had finished up her grocery shopping and we were exiting the store. My husband went to get the car while my mother chatted with the Salvation Army volunteer. The Salvation Army has been a charity near and dear to my mother’s heart and she always drops money into the kettle.

I proceeded to load up her groceries, made sure she had her purse and deposited the cart back into the row of other shopping carts along the outside of the store entrance.  As I made my way back to the car, the Salvation Army woman said, “God is going to bless you.” My mind was focused on getting Mom settled and finishing our remaining errands in order to race back home to make a dish for our choir Christmas party that evening. I turned and said, “Thank you.” But then her eyes locked with mine until she was sure she had my undivided attention.  There was an aura in that moment when she replied, “No. God is going to bless you. God is going to bless you for taking care of your mother.”

I truly felt like she was an angel messenger sent from God and that God approved of me. So often I think that I am not doing enough, because my time is so divided.

Serendipitously, the sermon at church the next day was on the message from the angel Gabriel to Mary. Our pastor asked us to imagine in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season what it would be like if we went to Wal-Mart or your local grocery store and were greeted by someone that threw their arms around us and said, “Greetings, favored one, the Lord is with you, do not be afraid, you have found favor with God!”

Okay, that might be a little creepy, but in essence, that is what the Salvation Army angel said to me. She told me that God would bless me. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we spoke words like the angel Gabriel and my Salvation Army angel?

I have been changed from this blessing. Instead of feeling not good enough, I feel God’s favor. As you enter the remaining days of this year and look forward to a New Year, think of how your words can be a blessing to others. May I leave you once again with the words of Gabriel, “Greetings, favored one, the Lord is with you, do not be afraid, you have found favor with God.”

Pass the blessing on……

Our connecting with God and practicing ways to be contemplative aren’t limited to prayer, meditation and writing. While I promote prayer, meditation and journaling as powerful tools, there are many simple ways to feel the love and presence of God every day.  By incorporating mindfulness of the presence of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, or all three, through simple acts we perform, we can bring a sense of peace, wholeness and clarity into our daily living. What do I mean?

Have you ever stopped to think of simple things you do – Preparing a meal, walking your dog, painting, gardening, cleaning your house or apartment, sitting in the presence of a loved one and not speaking, fishing – almost any kind of hobby?  All of these activities lend themselves to putting your whole heart into it. We may even call these activities “mindless”. What these actions represent are contemplative practices.

I put house cleaning on the list because it seems so odd, right?  Cleaning doesn’t require thought. It is in a moment like cleaning where you can focus thoughts on gratitude for having a place to call home. Or, you can focus on just the process of cleaning and caring for what you have.  Instead of focusing on cleaning as a chore, think of it as giving your love and attention.  Many times the most recent music we are singing in choir pops into my head and I hum, sing or just hear the music. Cleaning doesn’t need to be mindless. It can be mindful.

Painting, gardening and cooking are great examples of how to practice contemplation. These simple activities can make us feel childlike as we get lost in the sheer joy of performing them.

If we are not careful, the demands of life will consume all of our time and energy. Not practicing simple contemplative activities such as these steals our joy and corrodes our connection to our Creator.

Stop and consider what simple, “mindless” activities can translate to adding “meaningful” peace and joy to your life. Or better yet, go do one of those activities right now.

In the United States we understand the reference but it’s rare to see a sheep other than in a petting zoo! On a recent choir trip to Scotland and England, the Bible verses literally came to life along the roadside, pastures and hills.

Throughout the British Isles sheep are a main fixture of the landscape.

Traveling from Manchester, England to Edinburgh, Scotland by motor coach, our tour guide pointed out a flock of sheep that started moving very suddenly. Up until that time, the sheep were either grazing or resting, they were never on the move. He explained to us that when one sheep started to move, that first sheep became the leader and the other sheep would follow. It was really quite amazing to watch. Right in the middle of eating some grass, they saw the leader and took off.

How often do we lose sight of our inner knowing and being guided by God and take off in another direction lead by another voice? It happens all of the time. Jeremiah 50:3 says, “My people have been lost sheep. Their shepherds have lead them astray.”

We can always get back on track. I Peter 2:25: “For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

Listening to the voice of our true Leader and Shepherd means being still and getting quiet. Meditation is a great way to learn how to be still. If you’ve never practiced meditation, it is a powerful practice to quiet the mind.

Are other voices leading you astray, or are you being lead in the right direction? Your true Shepherd is always there to listen and to lead.

This was the final day of our trip, singing in St. Paul’s Cathedral in London, England.

Bill Stein, our wonderful Director of Music at First Presbyterian Church in Kirkwood, Missouri, orchestrated this trip for our choir to sing at some of the most magnificent cathedrals in the world.

Here’s a small sample of our tour. It was wonderful to worship with others across the world and to experience the splendor of these exquisite structures that were built to the glory of God.

This is the Outside of St. Paul’s.

This is Winchester Cathedral (yes, the song was about this cathedral) – Winchester has the longest Nave (principal area of the church) in the United Kingdom.

The above picture is our practice and below is after our performance.

This is Old Souls on the campus of Oxford University. The sky had changed instantly from rain to sun and the light hitting the buildings only lasted for a few minutes.

Coventry Cathedral was the only cathedral that was damaged during World War II. The cathedral was almost completely destroyed during the Blitz. A modern cathedral was built connected to the remains of the old cathedral. After seeing the devastation, the minister of the church said a prayer, “Father Forgive.” These words are in the ruins as well as the new cathedral. Two cross beams had burned and fallen in the shape of a cross. The beams are on display in the new Coventry Cathedral with a replica outside where the beams were originally found.

Father Forgive

York Minster Cathedral

Singing at York Minister. Seeing the choir in this huge space will give you an idea of the size. The sound in these cathedrals was amazing. When we finished a powerful song the sound reverberated throughout the space for several seconds.

York Minster has the most glass of any cathedral. During World War II all of the glass was removed and hidden in the countryside to protect it.

This is just a piece of Durham Cathedral. It was impossible to get a view of the entire structure. There were no pictures allowed inside. The columns were 22 feet round. It was the first of the large cathedrals on our tour.

This is a view from the top of the tower.

St. Giles is in Edinburgh, Scotland and is the birthplace of the Presbyterian Church. This was our first stop and was very special.

Our director, Bill Stein, had the opportunity to play the pipe organ shown here. He is an incredible musician and the music filled the entire space.

Every cathedral had a place to reflect in prayer and to light a candle. I took an opportunity to light a candle and say a prayer in each space.

This trip was not only a gift in having a wonderful experience but it gave me the gift of how important it is to live in the present moment. It was the first trip that I have ever taken where I forgot what day or time it was. I wasn’t worried or thinking about anything else but being present in each moment.

It’s taken me a while to adjust to getting back into the routine of life. The reason, perhaps, is not wanting life to be routine.  To be continued….. 

Don’t you just love fairy tales and the promise of happily ever after?

Robert and I just saw the Disney movie, Tangled. It’s the story about Rapunzel, the princess who was taken from her parents as a baby and held captive in a tower until her eighteenth birthday. Along comes Flynn Rider, a dashing, handsome bandit on the run who finds the tower escaping from the guards that were chasing him. Rapunzel schemes to use Flynn to carry out her dream of leaving the tower for a day to visit the source of the lights that she sees every year on her birthday.

As with every Disney movie, good triumphs over evil, dreams are fulfilled and there is always a happy ending with the guarantee of life happily ever after.

Real life isn’t depicted after the closing credits. There is no sequel – Tangled 2 – tangled in bills, making ends meet, and finding energy to remain close long after the relationship begins. Of course, princesses may not have to worry about such concerns. The majority of us have many stressors in “real” live.

Like Rapunzel, we do our own escaping by being entertained for a few hours lost in dreams of fantasy free from worry.

But I got to thinking about happy endings and happily ever after and thought that as Christians, we know the end of our story. We have a happily ever after.

When Jesus was on the cross, he said to the thief beside him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.” And in the Gospel of John, “In my Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.”

So, the happy ending is already written for us. It’s the middle of the story that is up to us to write. We write our story by having goals and dreams, making good choices, using our talents, serving others and trusting God to guide us. The happily ever after is coming. It’s the living in the present moment that is up to us to make our lives happy and purpose driven “now”.

Rapunzel fulfills the barter arrangement she makes with Flynn. It is a classic Disney moment of a stunning, visual, romantic scene when the boy will kiss the girl. I was sitting with my arms crossed because it was kind of cool in the theater. At that moment I took Robert’s arm in mine and put my head on his shoulder.

Our lives have changed a lot in the seven years that we have been together. The most dramatic change has been the loss of his job eleven months ago and us starting a consulting business together. We are literally together around the clock. The stress of lack of income and the struggle of starting our business has been intense. But in that moment of watching Rapunzal and Flynn, it brought back the feelings of newness and connection that we had in the beginning of our relationship. We still have that connection. It just takes being conscious of that and not letting the sometime stressful details in life crowd out what is most important.

Living a life of fairy tales and happy endings – As Christians, we are assured of a happy ending. It’s up to us to fill in the rest of our story.

Two of my favorite Bible verses are Psalm 121:3 & 4 – He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Stated simply, God’s door is always open.

If you’ve never stopped to think how important you are to God, think about this. We have access to God, the Creator of the Universe, 24-7. In business terms, let’s just say that God is the CEO of everything.

Have you tried to get through to a CEO?  It’s not easy. There are gatekeepers all along the way. You might have something valuable to say, a good business proposition to offer, but you may never reach the decision maker because of all of the people down the ladder that block access to their door. When we fail to receive a response after multiple attempts, we usually assume that we aren’t important enough to warrant a response.

We have instant access to God twenty-four hours a day. We don’t have to go through a gatekeeper.  He’s there ready to listen because we are important to him. We can receive help from God 24-7.

Almost every night when the house is dark and quiet and I lay my head on my pillow, I acknowledge that no matter how late it is, God is there. I find myself going over the happenings of the day with him and asking him for help in areas where I need it. I also remember others who have needs and express those concerns. Most of all, I am grateful to know that while the world sleeps, God is there watching over us.

It’s been an interesting year as our household has gone from two incomes to zero. On one hand, I wouldn’t be telling the truth if I didn’t say that there have been mornings of feeling panic and anxiousness. But on the other hand, those feelings didn’t last long especially when we count our blessings each day and how rich we are – the word rich doesn’t always translate to cash.

We have looked at this tough economic time in our lives as a blessing. Frankly, we were a little unconscious when it came to money. Never being big spenders or living beyond our means, we never focused on a strict budget either. Now our circumstances require that we watch every penny we spend. We have scaled back our spending dramatically. With every purchase we make we now are forced to make a choice.

For the last ten years I have been on a journey of awakening, of being conscious every day. This tough economic time has been a big series of lessons. Three of the biggest are 1) Recognizing how much I still need to learn to be fully present and aware. As I mentioned, I was unconscious in this area of my life.    2) My pay check is not my self-worth. It’s humbling to go from a big pay check to zero.  We put a huge emphasis on what we do as defining who we are. Make no mistake, it is good to have money because money gives you more choices, but I’ve learned that it can’t define me 3) How having less I’ve figured out how to do more rewarding activities. Having less requires creativity.

The picture with this post is of flowers, a small cantaloupe and a red pepper. I’ve never been much of a gardener, but since we couldn’t spend hundreds of dollars on annuals and perennials for our yard (like we’ve always done in the past) we grew our own flowers and vegetables from seeds. I had never done that before.

I used to spend $5-$10 dollars at the grocery store every week on fresh flowers. Now I go out to my garden and cut my own. It was so exciting to plant the seeds, make sure they were watered and the bugs and weeds were kept at bay and see the fruits (literally) from our labor. I felt a connection to the earth by planting my garden.

This tough economic time has given me a great gift of being more aware, of living with less and discovering new hobbies and much more.

Just like the garden, I am sewing my seed of starting a new business. I know if I scatter enough seed out there, nurture and take care of clients, my business will grow.

God has taken care of us every step of the way. Every time a sense of panic would start to set in a check would come, a new client would show up, friends gave us resources we needed for the business, I could go on and on.

These tough economic times will end. In the meantime, start counting your blessings. Maybe God is trying to get your attention. If so, listen.

If you’re curious about the business, visit Local Biz Mentor.

There are some days, weeks, even months when living a life guided by God seems so easy. There is a flow that happens. Joy fills one’s heart. You wake up in the morning and feel a sense of gratitude for everything.

But then doubt and fear can set in. This has certainly been the case with trying to grow a business from the ground up. You’re putting your heart, soul and energy into it, but at the end of the day or week or month, there is no consistent revenue for the effort. It can seem overwhelming. It’s easy to want to give up and go find a “job” and work for someone else.

When we face challenges like this, it is particularly important to lean on your family. In this case, I mean our family of faith. Brothers and sisters in Christ.

That also means having a solid place of worship to attend to be lifted up in the presence of God with like-minded believers.  If ever there was a time I needed church, it  was last Sunday. I had hit a valley again.

The sermon was called, “The Power of the Spoken Word.” The story was taken from Luke, chapter 10. Jesus was preaching: “Now he was teaching in one of the synagogues on the sabbath. And just then there appeared a woman with a spirit that had crippled her for eighteen years. She was bent over and was quite unable to stand up straight. When Jesus saw her, he called her over and said, ‘Woman, you are set free from your ailment.’ When he laid his hands on her, immediately she stood up straight and began praising God.”

I included a link to the entire sermon because the message was so powerful. Our pastor went on to say that the woman wasn’t suffering  necessarily from a physical ailment but was oppressed, beaten down with the demands of work and life.

We have two services, one at 8:15 AM and one at 11:00 AM. Robert and I attended the early service to have more of our day left. We normally don’t attend that service.

I did an earlier post where I shared a little book that I love, God Calling. This is the third year that I’ve read this daily devotional book. I included a link to Amazon so that my readers could see the book and could purchase it if they so desired. When I was online to Amazon I saw another book, Jesus Calling that caught my attention. But I was focused on getting my post written so I didn’t look into the book. I did notice both books did not have the same author.

Unbeknownst  to me, Christy Salmon attended the 11:00 AM service. Christy’s husband John lost his job too, several months ago. Christy has been trying to get her Pilates business going and was in need of a new website. Her current website was a disaster and she didn’t have a clue what to do. I met Christy and John through our church’s Stephen Ministry program and got together with Christy to help her with creating a new website for her.

At the end of the sermon, our pastor commissioned us to help other women to set them free by speaking encouragement and helping them (and men too by the way!).

Later that day a package arrived at the house (The picture is of that package). Christy had gone out and purchased the Jesus Calling book for me. There was a lovely note inside thanking me for my help and that she wanted me to have this book to receive love and encouragement every day.

I called her immediately and thanked her. She was so moved by the sermon that God spoke to her to take action. She wanted to stand up for me and help set me free from worry.

So, who can you set free today by what you say or do?