Why Meditation and Why Write this Blog?
Meditation was like an emergency switch that turned my life around. It seems counter intuitive that slowing down, being still and letting go would bring more control to your life, but it does. And I can attest to being the ultimate control freak…. just ask my husband.
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building!” Well, “I” had left the building. The essence of Jackie had checked out. Instead of living my life I was reacting to life.
Over the last thirty-one years I was on a fast track. Like so many others, I was chasing the American dream of a successful career and all of the material possessions that went along with it. I had accomplished many goals, constantly seeking success. It was exhausting.
After consistently being overwhelmed and my life being out of control, (Funny, I was trying my best to control everything.) I redirected my focus from a career path to a spiritual path. Instead of seeking success in material possessions, I changed my focus to seeking fulfillment in having a Spirit-filled life.
About ten years ago I earnestly started to seek an intimate relationship with God. This seeking truly started after hearing a sermon that my pastor preached on prayer. He talked about how prayer was talking to God, just as my words are talking to you now. God wants to have a relationship with us.
After hearing this sermon I began to pray, or talk to God more often. (I am thrilled to be able to share this sermon with you when you respond with your name and email address.) Another part of the sermon talked about having to be persistent in our prayers.
If you continue to read more of my writings, you will find that I am fascinated with words and their meaning. To be persistent means existing for a long or longer than usual time and also means continuously. Another word for persist, used throughout the Bible, is persevere, meaning to persist in anything undertaken in spite of difficulty or obstacles.
The truth is, I have been attending church and believed in God since I was a little girl. Many times I sang the hymn – “Jesus loves me this I know”. But it wasn’t until I sought a relationship with God that my beliefs took on meaning in my life. I began to understand what it meant when James said in chapter four verse eight, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”
I was having trouble sleeping through the night and would wake up at around two-thirty in the morning wide awake. Instead of trying to get back to sleep, I would pray. I would talk to God and pray for friends and loved ones, then drift back into sleep.
During that same time I had a forty-five minute commute to work. Instead of listening to the radio or CD’s, I would also talk to God during my commute. It was August 30, 2003. I’ll never forget that date because my life changed forever.
I was talking to God, and in a silly tone of voice I told Him that I thought He was waking me up in the middle of the night because He wanted me to talk to Him. As soon as I said those words I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me, only in the sense that I couldn’t speak. I was filled with an incredible fullness of pure love and joy. This feeling and fullness lasted for about twenty minutes. I just savored the moment never wanting it to end.
At that moment, all things became new for me. Any struggles or addictions I had left. It was like being re-born. The Bible became new for me too. I understood when Jesus said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” And when Paul said, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
I mentioned that I had gone to church since I was a little girl. I understood all of the “rules” and had accepted Jesus as my Savior long ago. Intellectually I believed. With sincerity I believed. However, until this incident in the car, my beliefs had not been with my heart, mind and soul.
The only conclusion I can give to having had this incredible experience was the result of my persistence in seeking God.
My prayer life continued. While I was doing a lot of praying, I was also doing all of the talking! There wasn’t a lot of listening going on. The busyness of life and career was consuming all of my being.
The holidays were coming. Thanksgiving weekend I made a conscious commitment to slow down and to not let life control me. It was November 26, 2006. In the church bulletin that Sunday was written – Assurance of Pardon – which stated, “Stand firm in your renewed commitment. Dare to live fully the life to which God has called you.” I cut out this line and kept it on my night stand as a constant reminder of my commitment to not let busyness consume me. It didn’t work….. I kept on being busy.
The following March I quit my sales manager’s job in radio to become a consultant. It meant working out of my house and doing some monthly traveling. The idea was to have more fulfilling work and to be less busy. The opposite happened. I was busier than I ever was in all my years of radio. My life was totally out of control.
In October of 2007, the busyness had reached a crescendo. I believe that we are creatures of comfort. We don’t make changes until some area of our lives becomes so painful that we make a change. The only way out of this pain was to meditate. My mind and body were completely overwhelmed. I searched for a meditation CD that a friend had given me years ago.
Since my concept of meditation was merely getting quiet and doing nothing, I felt that I could only devote ten minutes of my time but no more.
While my mind wandered at first, I focused on the instructions given. You see, there’s a reason they call it practicing meditation, because it takes practice!
I experienced immediate results in practicing meditation for just ten minutes each morning for the first week. Number 1 – I was more calm – Number 2 – The non-stop conference calls I had to attend each day almost magically stopped – Number 3 – I began to listen more and hear more what people were really saying and I became less reactive to situations.
The next week I moved to the twenty minute version. My outlook had changed from, “I can only afford ten minutes,” to “I can’t afford not to do this and make time for twenty minutes!”
More changes took place. I became even more calm. My thinking became very clear. Decisions became easier. I listened even more and heard even more what people were saying. This lead to better understanding people and why they said the things they said. I became less judgmental. I became very clear of what I wanted in my life. I found that I seemed to have more time and accomplished more.
All of this came about as a result of my deepening relationship with God. I began to listen and to truly allow God to be in charge.
In June of 2008 I left the traditional work place to follow my spiritual path of writing, creating and helping others. Prayer, contemplative writing and meditation are the activities that have helped me grow in my relationship with God.
My prayer for you is that you will discover the power of prayer and meditation to experience Christ’s peace and compassion, the fullness of the Holy Spirit, and the wisdom, grace and love of God in your life.
If you have been searching for your purpose, for guidance, peace and clarity – prayer, contemplative writing and meditation will help you.
Persistence is the key to having any success in life. Persistence is needed in developing strong relationships. Persistence is needed in seeking God. Persistence is a constant element that is needed to live a Spirit-filled life. May you discover the power of persistence in seeking God.
So, why write this blog? I’ve learned so much and have experienced so much peace in spite of difficult challenges and circumstances that I wanted to pass along these lessons to help others.
If you are overwhelmed, here’s a prayer that can help you. If you are having a hard time clearing the chatter and clutter from your mind, this meditation CD can help you. If you want to have some tools to help you focus on your spiritual path, here are resources that will help. If you want personal encouragement from me as I walk the spiritual walk, subscribe to my free ezine, The Guided Life.
Matthew says, “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”
Will you join me and be one of the few?
Peace,
Jackie Trottmann