Mother’s Day – God Bless Mothers – On Earth and In Heaven

Sunday will be Mother’s Day. For many, it’s a time of celebration. For others, it’s a time of grief. That grief can entail mourning the loss of a mother due to death, losing a child or mourning the absence of the loving mother daughter relationship.

For me, this mother’s day will be a time of celebration. (Although I’ll share a little grief part later.) My mother is still with me. She turned 94 in January. Considering all that she has physically to deal with, congestive heart failure, diabetes, and asthma, you would never guess that she is 94 – more like 70, and she certainly doesn’t act a day over 16!

Here she is after she broke her left wrist in the fall of 2008. She goes by the name of Bea. This pose is typical of her personality because she always felt more comfortable performing on the stage.

After this happened, I told her, “Mom, you’re lucky that it was your left wrist because you’re right handed.” Two weeks later the phone rang. It was my mother telling me she had broken her right wrist. She told me she couldn’t help it because she’s always been an over-achiever!  That’s where I get it….. and her sense of humor. My mother is truly an inspiration.

I am a mother. My son will be with me this Mother’s Day – Another reason for celebration.

For others, who have lost their mothers, however, this will be a time of, perhaps, grief. For these children I send a prayer of peace and comfort and to be able to feel their loved one’s presence even though, physically, they are gone.

This Mother’s Day, celebrate the gift of motherhood. None of us know how long we have, so we need to treasure every moment.

The mother daughter relationship can be, let me say, challenging at times. If the relationship you have with your mother isn’t the most positive, ask God for help. That’s what I did. 

The Aura Hug

While I write about my mother with fondness, our relationship has not been easy. As I was taking care of her needs with the broken wrists, she was far from kind. At the grocery store a woman in the check out lane said, “Oh, it must be so nice to have a daughter. I only had sons.” My mother replied, “She’s always so busy.” Ouch. I would continue to receive such zingers until one day I sat in my car outside of her house and told God, “I can’t do this anymore. I know I am supposed to honor my mother, but it’s too much.”

The following week, as I was leaving she told me to wait. I turned around thinking she was going to give me a cantalope or coupons for something I didn’t buy (typical gifts), instead she said she needed to give me a hug. I just about fainted. We NEVER hugged. My mother showed me no affection or told me she loved me or that she was proud of me.

After the hug, she said that my brother asked her why she always hugged his granddaughter but never hugged him. She decided to hug after that statement.

When she hugged me, she said that there was an aura around me. That was six years ago as of this writing and she tells the aura story to people. So, I can tell you, prayer changes things. She also thanked me for all that I had done for her. We still hug when we leave each other.

If you have a strong relationship, then give thanks for that. Never take that special relationship for granted.

Losing a Child or Losing your Mother

No one prepares you to be a mother. Certainly, no one prepares you for losing a child.

I met a gentleman through a business connection named Kevin Burdick. He casually mentioned a couple of personal websites he had. Later that night, after our conversation, I checked out his sites. I was shocked to find out that one site provides headstones to families who have lost their babies. He started this foundation after losing his baby, a daughter named Dempsey, who only lived for 31 days. I’ll repeat that number, 31 days.

My heart went out to him and to the mother, for no one prepares you to spend nine months of a pregnancy loving and caring for the arrival of a new baby, only to have this life not come to be.

Here is the website for headstones for babies and the families that have been helped:

http://www.dempseyburdick.com/the_families.html

I was also surprised to find out that he is quite a musician. His website is http://kevinburdick.com.

If this Mother’s Day finds you or someone else you know who is struggling with issues of grief, here is very dear and caring friend of mine who has dedicated her life to helping others in this area. She has suffered a tremendous amount of loss and has moved through it. She can help you too.  Her name is JoAnne Funch, and here is her website: http://heartachetohealing.com

Final Words for Mother’s Day and Every Day

Treasure each moment. Keep those who are hurting in your prayers. Prayer is a powerful thing. Ask God to send love, peace and comfort.

Blessings to you this Mother’s Day and every day!

Jackie Trottmann

 


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