If it’s May it means Mother’s Day, and if you are a mom like me, every day should be Mother’s Day, right?
For many, it’s a time of celebration. For others, it’s a time of grief. That grief can entail mourning the loss of a mother due to death, losing a child or mourning the absence of the loving mother daughter relationship.
My mother passed away on October 23, 2016, on our wedding anniversary. Ours was a strange and wonderful relationship. I think she died on our anniversary so that I would never forget. I don’t say that as mean-spirited. I truly believe that she didn’t want me to forget.
My mother was 96 when she died. She had her quick British whit and her mind until the end. That is a true blessing. Considering all that she physically had to deal with, congestive heart failure, diabetes, and asthma, you would never guess that she was in her 90s, more like 70, and she certainly didn’t act a day over 16!
Here she is after she broke her left wrist in the fall of 2008. Her name was Beatrice, but she went by Bea. This pose was typical of her personality because she always felt more comfortable performing on the stage.
When someone would ask what happened, her replies were: “You should have seen the other guy,” or “I fell off my horse.”
After this happened, I told her, “Mom, you’re lucky that it was your left wrist because you’re right handed.” Two weeks later the phone rang. It was my mother telling me she had broken her right wrist. She told me she couldn’t help it because she’s always been an over-achiever!
I am grateful that fruit doesn’t fall from the tree. I’ve inherited her whit and sense of humor. My mother was truly an inspiration to me in how she treated others and how much her faith meant to her. I miss her.
For Those Who Have Lost Their Mother
For others, who have lost their mothers, however, this will be a time of, perhaps, grief.
For these children I send a prayer of peace and comfort and to be able to feel their loved one’s presence even though, physically, they are gone.
This Mother’s Day, celebrate the gift of motherhood. None of us know how long we have, so we need to treasure every moment.
When the Mother Daughter Relationship is Challenging
The mother daughter relationship can be, let me say, challenging at times. If the relationship you have with your mother isn’t the most positive, ask God for help. That’s what I did.
The Aura Hug
While I write about my mother with fondness, our relationship was not always easy. As I was taking care of her needs with the broken wrists, she was far from kind. At the grocery store a woman in the check out lane said, “Oh, it must be so nice to have a daughter. I only had sons.” My mother replied, “She’s always so busy.” Ouch. I would continue to receive such zingers until one day I sat in my car outside of her house and told God, “I can’t do this anymore. I know I am supposed to honor my mother, but it’s too much.”
The following week, as I was leaving she told me to wait. I turned around thinking she was going to give me a cantaloupe or coupons for something I didn’t buy (typical gifts), instead she said she needed to give me a hug. I just about fainted. We NEVER hugged. My mother showed me no affection or told me she loved me or that she was proud of me.
After the hug, she said that my brother asked her why she always hugged his granddaughter but never hugged him. She decided to hug after that statement.
When she hugged me, she said that there was an aura around me. She would tell the aura story to people a lot. So, I can tell you, prayer changes things. She also thanked me for all that I had done for her. From that day forward, we continued to hug. I am SO grateful she wasn’t around for COVID.
If you have a strong relationship, then give thanks for that. Never take that special relationship for granted.
Losing a Child
No one prepares you to be a mother. Certainly, no one prepares you for losing a child.
I met a gentleman through a business connection named Kevin Burdick. He casually mentioned a couple of personal websites he had. Later that night, after our conversation, I checked out his sites. I was shocked to find out that one site provides headstones to families who have lost their babies. He started this foundation after losing his baby, a daughter named Dempsey, who only lived for 31 days. I’l repeat that number, 31 days.
My heart went out to him and to the mother, for no one prepares you to spend nine months of a pregnancy loving and caring for the arrival of a new baby, only to have this life not come to be.
I was also surprised to find out that he is quite a musician. Here is his website and an article called The Power of Tears.
If this Mother’s Day finds you or someone else you know who is struggling with issues of grief, here is very dear and caring friend of mine who has dedicated her life to helping others in this area. She has suffered a tremendous amount of loss and has moved through it. She can help you too. Her name is JoAnne Funch, and her website is: Heartache to Healing
Final Words for Mother’s Day and Every Day
Treasure each moment. Keep those who are hurting in your prayers. Prayer is a powerful thing. Ask God to send love, peace and comfort. Here’s A Prayer for Mothers that I wrote.
Blessings to you this Mother’s Day and every day!
We all need encouragement, especially moms! This daily devotional has been a great gift for Mother’s Day or any day for encouragement. God Notes – Daily Doses of Divine Encouragement. Amazon, Barnes & Noble or order a signed copy by clicking on the image below.
Jackie TrottmannJune 17, 2014 5:49 pm
Sure thing Kevin. Hope all is well with you!
Kevin BurdickJune 17, 2014 5:30 pm
Finally got around to reading this. You did a beautiful job on the writing and thanks for the mention! xoxo Kevin