Loneliness is a feeling that can overwhelm us whether we live in a remote area or in a crowded city. Sadly, loneliness can exist in relationships with two people living under the same roof. There can be a gulf of hurt, anger and resentment so wide that feelings of loneliness and isolation fill that gulf.
If you are feeling alone, know that you are not alone. God created us to have a relationship with us.
The disciples felt alone as Jesus told them that he had to leave them. To assure them that they weren’t alone, he said, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.” John 14:18
Jesus went on to say, in John 16:32 and 33, “I am not alone, because the Father is with me. These things I have spoken unto you, that in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”
Here is a prayer to help you feel God’s presence, right here, right now.
A Prayer for Loneliness
Dear Gracious and Loving God,
Help me to feel your presence.
My heart aches and I feel so alone.
I miss a human touch, someone to take my hand or give me a hug.
I long for someone to tell me everything will be alright.
Please send your Comforter to me and take this loneliness away.
Help me instead of feeling empty, to feel full of the love you have for me.
Help me to know in my heart and remember that according to your Word; I am never alone because you are with me.
Your love and peace is with me, right now, in this moment. I feel it and I am not alone.
Amen
Loneliness can be a spiritual invitation to find peace in the solitude of the heart.
If you find it hard to know how much you are loved by God, download this eBook and audio book called Bringing God’s View Into Focus to Live Life with Joy and Flow while it’s free. Know how much you are loved.
Jackie Trottmann
January 20, 2018 1:46 pmHi Marigold,
Well, what would be ideal is for the mind, heart, body, and spirit to all be integrated as opposed to separate, although they are separate. I would say that is what wholeness is all about. :) Having all be in alignment. Simple, but not easy.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Blessings in return,
Jackie
Marigold V.
January 20, 2018 12:15 pmHi Jackie,
I enjoyed reading your reply. You are indeed a woman with great wisdom. I like what you said about the mind and the heart. It gave me something to think about. The mind and the heart are indeed two separate entities.
Be blessed today and keep up the good work!
Jackie Trottmann
January 20, 2018 10:33 amHi Marigold,
Thanks for stopping by and for visiting on Facebook. :) Katie is actually my dog-in-law. She belongs to my sister-in-law. Our dog is Wilson. But Katie is a real cutie and very photogenic for sure!
I appreciate your comment, Marigold. I’ve been thinking a lot about that word mindset. It’s easy to get hung up in the mind. That is the whole point of creating this meditation site, to help people quiet their minds so that they can listen to their hearts. “Just put your mind to it,” we say in our culture, or, “make up your mind.” The mind is great for facts and processing data but not for processing matters of the heart. So, perhaps, Kaila, if you are reading here, this sadness is just natural and passing. Or, perhaps, it is something to pay attention to and listen to your still, small voice more closely. That is certainly something I wish to be more mindful of for sure in my own life.
Peace and blessings Marigold,
Jackie
Marigold V.
January 16, 2018 11:23 amHi Jackie!
It was good to hear from you again! I looked at your pictures on facebook and I love your dog, Katie (: Keep up the good work!
Now for the woman who feels so lonely b/c she travels a lot: It’s all about your mindset. You can try to connect with others by being friendly or you can look for other employment that is more suitable
Jackie Trottmann
January 16, 2018 10:37 amHi Kaila,
Thank you for reaching out here. I received your comment while traveling myself. While I had not responded right away on the blog, you have been in my thoughts and prayers. It has to be hard to travel a lot and be away from family and friends. May you be filled with God’s loving presence wherever you go so that you won’t feel so lonely. May God also lead you and guide you as you fulfill your purpose. Your purpose will evolve as you are attentive to your heart and God’s Spirit within you.
Peace to you Kaila,
Jackie
Kaila S
December 27, 2017 7:54 pmHi,
My name is Kaila. God blessed me with the great career of being a Traveling Trainer for hospitals all over. I’ve been traveling for a little over 2 years now and I love what I do and getting to experience change offend, but it’s starting to take a toll on me. I’ve been feeling down (lonely) for about 2 months or so now, crying offend, sadness, just not feeling like myself (happy). I know there’s a greater purpose for my sacrifice of being away from my family, but right now I’m feeling weak. If you could pray for me, for strength to continue to seek my purpose and continue on fighting for my family and I goals.
Thank you
Jackie Trottmann
September 26, 2017 3:16 pmHi Marigold,
Thanks for your comment. When people leave comments, I’m torn if there are errors or lack of punctuation whether to correct it. I don’t wish to change what they have written. Since you expressed that her comment was hard to read, I added the punctuation.
Thanks for sending blessings to Marsha.
Peace and blessings to you,
Jackie
Marigold V.
September 25, 2017 11:57 pmMarsha’s script is hard to read b/c there are no punctuation marks ): God bless you Marsha.
Jackie Trottmann
September 25, 2017 2:13 pmHi Marsha,
Thank you for sharing here. God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are always with you. God will never turn away. God always seeks out those who have wandered off and gotten lost. To know this is true, I would encourage you to read the 15th chapter of Luke. Jesus tells three parables: the parable of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son. Since the spoken word is all they had (no italics, or bold type), words were repeated for emphasis. I believe that Jesus told these three stories to get the point across that God is always waiting for us to turn back when we are lost. There is always a celebration when what was lost was found.
I hope that you will find yourself in these three stories of God never leaving, always being there to love you and welcome you back into open arms if you have gone astray.
Peace to you,
Jackie
Marsha
September 24, 2017 4:47 pmWhat If you were lonely and God kept trying to tell you he was with you but you had trouble believing, cause you could not feel his presence or believe? I got a job where people accepted me and liked me and told him I did not need him or the holy spirit anymore. Then I wanted to return and he gave me a chance to return and told me to repent and believe. After, he said “I am with you and do you want to return?” I wanted to but something was blocking my heart. I want my close relationship back with him but since believed that I missed the chance to repent and return. I feel empty inside and have no faith to believe and feel I turned away and thought there was no hope of me getting him back.
Jackie Trottmann
September 5, 2017 6:39 pmHi Marigold,
Thank you for commenting and for the encouragement for Dorothy. I must concur on both fronts, the dating sites and a dog! I have Christian friends who have found companionship online. I also know (from my own experience) the love that a dog will provide. When I went through my divorce, I was totally alone except for my golden retriever, Duffy. He was my best friend in the world.
Peace to you and Dorothy,
Jackie
p.s. If I recall, you were struggling with diabetes? Hope that is under control. Glad you have Zoe. :)
Marigold V.
August 30, 2017 2:06 pmI prayed the prayer that you submitted for Dorothy, the widow who feels so lonely after over 40 years of marriage.
There are christian dating web sites if you want to join Dorothy. If you are a Caucasian woman you should have lots of choices. I am an African-American woman and my chances of connecting with someone was VERY slim, as I prefer a black man.
I TRULY understand loneliness!!
P.S. How about getting a Pomeranian? My Zoe is the BEST friend I could have now.
Jackie Trottmann
August 30, 2017 12:08 pmHi Dorothy,
I’m so sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. For those reading this, I hope that you will hold Dorothy in your prayers. I’ll pray for you now.
Most gracious and loving God, we want to lift up Dorothy to you. Thank you for the 48 years that she had with her husband. What a gift that so few people realize in this day and age! We ask that you will fill the tremendous void left as a result of this loss. Please surround her with your loving presence. May she feel your loving Spirit around her and within her. You promise to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. Your Son reminds us that you are with us always. And the apostle Paul tells us that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from your love in Christ Jesus our Lord. Please give Dorothy the strength to move forward. Help her to know that you are with her, to not be afraid, and that you will give her strength each day. May she carry her husband’s loving presence in her heart along with your presence.
Take away her feelings of being alone. Provide her with additional support through the loving kindness of others.
We ask this in the name of your Son.
Amen
Dorothy Goodwin
August 24, 2017 9:43 amPlease pray for me I am lonely feeling disconnected my husband of 48 years had passed away now I feel every one left me I need some one to pray for me
Jackie Trottmann
May 16, 2017 10:01 amThank you for your openness to share here. I’m sorry for the loss of your husband and for the loss of this potential relationship that looked promising. At 59, I understand that there is no time for games, only honesty and authenticity. You were fortunate to have had the love you shared with your husband. It’s a gift that is somewhat rare. That doesn’t mean that you can’t find love again.
While the Bible says, “Seek and you will find,” I’ve found that if we seek out of being so desperate, we tend to push what we desire away instead of attracting it to us. When I’ve surrendered and let go of needing and wanting something (anything) so desperately, God usually surprises me by giving me my heart’s desires.
What I’ve found helpful is to give more, to be of service, to help others. You need to put yourself in situations where you can meet other Christian men to be involved in something together, perhaps a mission trip, or feeding the homeless, or some activity. The more you give, the more you will receive. The more you focus on lack, the more you will lack.
Continue to follow the greatest commandment: “You shall love the lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 7:37-40 And also this, “Seek first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
It doesn’t mean you won’t feel lonely, but you will feel less lonely as you seek for God’s loving Spirit to fill you and nurture you. Being on service and loving others with no expectations of love in return will attract opportunities and others to you.
Peace to you,
Jackie
mpthompson
May 7, 2017 8:19 pmI lost my husband 9 years ago, I have family all around however I still feel lonely, and alone. He was my best friend and now I am so broken hearted, I am a good christian woman 59 years old looking for a good christian man. I thought I had met him but after one week he stopped communicating with me. Although he stated he was looking to love someone like Christ loved the church, I took a step out on faith and now I have not heard from him again. So I deleted his phone number and text messages, maybe I was took much. I was just so happy to meet someone and make a connection. He stated he would attend church with me etc. But now it feels like he has disappeared from the earth. He lives out of state but we were talking about meeting this summer and seeing where the relationship would develop one step at a time. Should I ask him what are his intentions with me or move on…I long for the companion, that special christian man, that kindred spirit.
Jackie Trottmann
January 20, 2017 4:39 pmThanks Marigold :)
Peace to you,
Jackie
Marigold V.
January 19, 2017 12:25 pmTHANK YOU, Jackie! Your response was encouraging. (I can tell that is your spiritual gift).
I feel like I am talking to a friend. Thank you.
Jackie Trottmann
January 19, 2017 8:40 amHi Marigold,
Forgive me for finding some humor in what you said about WHY am I NOT so busy??? Most people are stressed and lamenting, I’m TOO BUSY, that they are missing out on the abundant life the Jesus promises. So, I hope you can see the irony here. Peace and abundance comes from deepening our relationship with God. Like ANY relationship, it only grows when you spend time with someone. God wants your time and attention. Instead of feeling that you are being punished, think that you are being INVITED to connect more deeply. You have an abundance of time. Most people don’t have that luxury. If you think it is a curse, then you will believe it is a curse.
The God I was raised to know was the judgmental Heavenly Father that would – as I say – squish me like a bug if I stepped out of line. It took a long time to detox my mind and spirit from that thinking and false teaching. I am reminded of two verses: 1 John 4:8, Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. And 1 John 4:18, There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.
Engaging on the Internet can only go so far with relationships. You need to be WITH people. You need to surround yourself with a support system of friends, family, and others who share your faith. We were not created to live alone. We thrive in community.
I would use your time deepening your relationship with God through prayer – just talking to God like you talked through your comment – meditation is a great way to connect with God and fill you with the peace that surpasses all understanding. I’m a big journal fan and write out my feelings. Do a search on verses for what is troubling you. Take your Bible and read them. Meditate on them. The two verses above are good verses to start. Read the entire chapter.
I’m sorry to hear about your diabetes. I don’t know what your general health has been. My mother was diagnosed when she was around 78 years old. She lived to be 96. She had been very heavy. The diabetes forced her to take better care of herself. She ate healthy food. She managed it really well. The diabetes caused her to lose weight and be healthier. So, it was a blessing.
Proverbs 18:24 says, A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. I was in the corporate world in sales and management. I made a LOT of friends over the years. Guess how many REAL friends I have from 30 years? One. Friendship takes effort. Those work related relationships were friendships of convenience. Even though we spent 8 hours a day together, there was not a two-way effort outside of work to keep it going.
There is a fine line of trying too hard and being desperate as opposed to being authentic and giving. Here’s what I mean. Robert and I had very few couple friends. We would invite people over to dinner or out to dinner and we just didn’t seem to click with people. If we did click, no one seemed to reciprocate invitations. We kind of shrugged our shoulders and wondered what was wrong with us! It wasn’t long after that when we gave up trying “so hard” that we found ourselves connecting with a couple of old friendships. We started traveling and made more friends in that area. Robert started forming a friendship with my spiritual director. We met his wife and now we are very close friends. So, as soon as we let go trying so hard, God brought these amazing friendships. Our social calendar is usually full (not busy).
Here’s a verse from the book of James. Did you know that James almost didn’t make it into the Bible? I digress… James 1:22 says, But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
For me, what this made me realize was, when I was single, Prince Charming was not going to show up at my door. That didn’t mean I had to “do” a lot of effort to find a partner. I DID let go and love God with all my heart, and all of my soul, and all of my mind (finally) and opened myself to opportunities. When I focused on my relationship with God as most important (the doing part of doing what the greatest commandment says), Robert came along when I was no longer trying.
When I was unemployed and down to my last nickel in the checking account, I didn’t expect an employer to show up at my door with a dream job. I was actively seeking employment and trusting God would provide. I DID get a dream job, but it was by doing – not frantic doing. You might find this post helpful God’s Power Steering
Marigold, I see this time for you as a huge opportunity for growth. Jesus said in Matthew 21:22, And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive. Our job is not to ask how. That is God’s job. If you live like this, you will discover the joy, peace, and abundance that Jesus talks about.
I hope this helped.
Take good care of yourself,
Jackie
Marigold V.
January 18, 2017 2:00 amThank you, Jackie, that this is a REAL website. Thank you also for your encouraging words. Since I have stopped working I have been diagnosed with diabetes. I am sad about that. I am EXTREMELY lonely. I have been on “Our Time” dating site, and it’s almost ridiculous. I get tired of the rejection and people telling me how BUSY they are. I often wonder WHY am I NOT so busy??? I KNOW this is NOT the abundant life JESUS died to give me. I feel that I am being punished.
Jackie Trottmann
January 17, 2017 3:38 pmHi Marigold,
I’m sorry to hear about your forced retirement. It seems to be a huge trend. My husband Robert was let go at the age of 60. He couldn’t find employment after. He now stays very busy with taking care of his 99 year old father and his affairs, my 96 year old mother before she passed away, helping me with proofreading my writing, and volunteering at work and doing mission work.
I have other friends who are being let go at 60. They are asking, “Now what?”
Work certainly gives us our identity. It’s a place where we have friends. It takes up a majority of our day and gives us a feeling usefulness. So, I totally understand your loneliness and feeling useless.
But you are NOT useless! I know when I left the corporate world and my big, fat paycheck behind, it was EXTREMELY hard. I had tied my title and paycheck to my self-worth. But that’s NOT who we are or Whose we are. I felt very alone at first, but I’ve made an effort to connect with people.
I would look into something that you love to do. What causes would you love to support? I would definitely get involved through church or volunteering if money is no issue for you.
Look at what gifts and talents that come naturally to you. How can you use them? I know that Jesus always asked those whom he was going to heal, “What do you want?” Marigold, what do you want? Journal about that explore that. You can create a life that you want. The more clear you can be on what you want, God will bring people and opportunities to you.
I hope that was helpful and will hold you in my prayers.
Peace to you,
Jackie
Marigold V.
January 17, 2017 12:07 amI have been retired for three and a half years. (I was forced to retire) I feel so USELESS. I have been praying and asking the Lord what He wants me to do in this season of my life, and I get no answer. I am also EXTREMELY lonely.
Jackie Trottmann
January 4, 2017 5:43 pmHello Armando,
I am sorry that you feel alone all of the time. God is with you and hears your prayers. Scripture assures us in Deuteronomy 31:8, “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” And the apostle Paul assures us in Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” And Jesus reminds us that we are one in his prayer, John 17:20-23, “I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us, so that they may be one, as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” One cannot not be divided. God is not only “with” you, but “within” you. I pray that God will take away your loneliness.
Peace to you,
Jackie
Armando
December 25, 2016 6:14 amI feel alone all the time is god with me? Does he hear my prayers?
Jackie Trottmann
December 1, 2016 12:05 pmI am so sorry to hear about your situation. Please seek help. Here is a website: The National Domestic Violence Hotline. I would also seek help and guidance from your pastor. Don’t go through this alone. I’m sure there are resources and people to help you where you live.
Those reading this, please hold this child of God in your prayers. I will do the same.
Jackie
Her
November 30, 2016 9:32 pmI’m alone and don’t know what to do… I’m stuck buried deep in the ground I have no one and it’s getting worse and worse everyday I go to church etc work etc I have no friends my bf beats me I’m pregnant family isn’t there for me.. I feel like I have no more options
Jackie Trottmann
November 6, 2016 9:25 amHi Peter,
Thank you for commenting. I try not to take anything in life for granted. With practicing meditation, I retreat to a place of stillness. I would like to say silence, but our world is rarely silent. Our bodies are not silent. By your response, I am assuming that you cannot hear at all. I had never truly stopped to realize what that would be like – continuous silence. So, thank you for that awareness. Unless you know others that you can communicate with in the same way, I’m sure it can feel very lonely. I try not to offer advice, but, I am. :) I would encourage you to find a support system and if possible a church that does offer sign language. Just looking online I found some sites and You Tube channels that are for the deaf. This one had sermons, called Christ’s Church for the Deaf. I’m not sure if it will be what you need, but you can search and hopefully find encouragement and support so that you won’t feel so alone.
Peace to you,
Jackie
Peter Okumu Kalae
November 6, 2016 2:04 amI am alone and unable to attend at Sunday’s church services due to lack of sign language interpreter. So I have no time to be there without understanding the semron.
Jackie Trottmann
June 23, 2016 5:04 pmHi Spencer,
Relationships can be very complicated. I’m sorry to hear that she is not accepting this. Be prayerful and ask God to intervene. Stay strong in your decision. Eventually, you will need to move on. I have a friend that has a “God’s to do list.” We can’t control other people. I find that when I have big issues and challenges, especially when it comes to relationships, I put that on God’s to do list. I say, “God, I can’t handle this, I need you to.” Not an easy answer, I know. Hope it helps.
Peace to you,
Jackie
Spencer
June 20, 2016 2:34 amHI Jackie, thanks for your respond to me but i did sit down with her and trying to tell her about that lets parted ways but she doesn’t understand so what worries me is that i am a man who go after woman’s because of her trying to bother her but she doesn’t understand it
Jackie Trottmann
June 17, 2016 3:05 pmHi Spencer,
Thank you for sharing. Sorry that it took so long to reply as I was traveling. Well, if you don’t have feelings for someone, you can’t force them. Sometimes it’s easier to stay in a relationship out of being comfortable even if you are unhappy. It’s not really fair to you or to the other person if the feelings are not true. You are not being true to yourself or to the other person. I would side with the people that advised you to start a new life without that person. Jesus said, “The truth will set you free.” You need to stand in your truth. Ask God to give you the words and the strength to move on.
Peace to you,
Jackie
Spencer
June 7, 2016 3:41 amI have a problem that i don’t have feelings for the lady i stayed with for long tym i don’t know what to do about it sometime people advised me to start a new life and i did for several tyms going but but i end up back to her again .
I need your help because that of life fighting now and then